The sacred search: What if it’s not about who you marry, but why? by Gary Thomas (a summary/review).
Gary Thomas describes marriage as a central part of spiritual formation. He suggests that marriage brings either tears of joy or tears of pain/regret. He then frames the topic of pursuing marriage with God’s instruction in Matt 6:33 to “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Marriage, he says, should contribute to the kingdom rather than take away from it. The bottom line is that just being in love may not be the only reason to get married.
Following are some of the items I’ve taken from the book:
Strive to be as clear-headed and thoughtful as possible when considering marriage.
Pursue a marriage partner who will help you in the journey through life. (Look for a “sole” mate with whom you walk through life rather than a “soul mate”).
Those considering dating and marriage need to honestly determine if they are willing to work through whatever baggage the other person brings with them. Many people are stuck in immaturity. Is he/she is a giver or taker? Will this person contribute or drain energy from you as you pursue God’s call?
In the end, if the relationship is not what it needs to be, break it off. A good, fulfilling marriage is worth the work and the wait.