Everyone Who Asks Receives

Part way through reading the last chapter, it dawned on me (in my second reading of the book) what author David Benner was saying in The Gift of Being Yourself. Becoming our “true self” is a gift.

The true self is not something we earn or create, but something we receive. It is received as we surrender our being, our becoming, and our whole self to God — laying bare our agendas, schemes, strategies, and plans for fulfillment and success. Of course, this all seems rather counter intuitive in our “do more” and “be more” culture, which is probably why I didn’t really grasp it in my first reading!

Previously, I think I would have said that “true” and “authentic” were interchangeable in regard to the self, but they are not quite the same. Authenticity suggests truthfulness in historical origins. The true self is the created as well as the not-yet-realized self born of the transformational knowing of God. And this is simply not achieved through self-determination.

Over the last few months, I’ve done much reading and reflecting on risking intimacy with God and others, restoring inner dividedness, and discovering true and false selves/motives. And, I have discovered that I’ve not been telling myself the whole truth. Sure, flattering and comforting truths have been useful in telling my story, to me and to others. But, the unwelcome, unlovely truths are just as valid and essential to the “me” who is loved by God. He invites me – all of me – to relationship.

In light of all these things, the word I’ve selected for 2012 is “Illuminate.” Seeking to see and know our hidden motives and the uglier things about ourselves is deeply connected with seeking to know and live in Christ. The word “Illuminate” has prompted a few initial observations:

1. The subject pronoun relative to this verb is not “I”
but the Divine “I AM.”
2. Discovering one’s inner stories is best done (and shared as needed)
in loving, safe relationships.
3. Knowing of self is not for self-improvement projects
or gaining control over the future.
4. Becoming one’s true self involves recognizing and surrendering
agendas for happiness to God.

In a sense, following Christ means giving him the house keys. He doesn’t barge in and take over areas of the home unless given permission. He offers redemptive, life-giving transformation to what he finds, but he awaits our invitation to enter and light those hidden rooms and cluttered closets we’ve conveniently avoided. And this transformation, becoming one’s true self is found in each movement, however small or seemingly insignificant, toward God. The light of Christ casts out the darkness. We need only to ask.